Dirty Old Man

Hello friends,

I must update you all on Hannibal (see previous post).

Hannibal the Cannibal fish, is dead.
It seems the Keith and Nicole did not take kindly to him trying to eat them, so they "took care of him" and dear god, it was a crazy sight to behold. Red water, nasty stink...the lesson here is clear:
Don't mess with the gingers (fish or otherwise).

Now that you are up to date on that front I would like to talk to you about my Spam mail.
If I had to create the type of person I would be if I actually wanted to get the spam in my inbox I would be:

• Male
• Late 50's
• Handlebar mustache
• Comb over
• Gold Chain
• Button down shirt with button1, 2, 3 and 4 unbuttoned
• Wicked tan
  
• Divorced (no kids)
• Earring... a silver hoop (sick.)
  
• Probably having some problems with my ding dong (hence no kids)
• Looking to pick up some sweet young thangs with my copious amounts of drugs and ridiculously convenient hookup via e-mail.
• Possibly looking for a Russian bride.

Why do I believe this is who I would be? Here is what I have received in the past 2 days as subject lines:

• Make your boner so iron it could pierce a hole in ceiling
• I am coming to you from Russia. You want this?
• PILL PILL BLUE PILL HAPPY!!!
• Cheapest Pills!!!!!!!!!!!
  
• 89% off! Pfizer products! Viagra! Aderol!
• Make her yours with a strong bone
• Drive your girl crazy... crazy good

If I had to say what I look like in this world I would be a cross between Tom Selleck and Steve Buschemi:



only greasier.

Anyway, clearly this was so important I had to blog about it.

Til next time!!