In Honor of TJ's 23rd

Today is my cousin TJ's 23rd birthday.

TJ died a few months ago suddenly, and his death taught me a few things and also reinforced realities I tend to ignore. This is going to be more of a ramble and an homage to someone so young who probably taught me more than I knew he did in his short life.

Life is really eff-ing short

TJ was smart. I mean SMART.
I heard someone say at his funeral that he lived like he knew he only had 22 years.

I don't think I saw TJ not "on". It's like he tried to suck every last thing he could out of a moment.

- He was a smart ass (a quality I appreciate in people)
- He could build ANYTHING, and if he didn't know how, he figured it out
- He could dance- well, I mean he danced. It was awkward actually, but damn it if he didn't try! ha!
- He was happy
- He was always "doing". Which leads me to...

Do It.
I don't think many of us live by this principle. I know I don't, not in the way I want to. It was something I told myself I would do when I got back from his funeral, but I sorta let it fall to the way side.

Be Who You Are. Someone is bound to like it!
TJ had this sorta cockiness to him that very few people can get away with. He was TJ. He practiced his signature because he knew he would need it to be as impressive as he was. haha.

Be Bold and Curious
Live with energy and a want to experience the world.

I dunno, I could go on and on, but I feel like, this is what I wanted to say. I am proud to have been his cousin, and I am proud of all he did in his 22 years of life.

This isn't meant to be a sad post. This is meant to be a big thank you for being Good at truly living, TJ.

Politics Schmolitics

I started this blog in order to say something about my brother running in Nebraska's 2nd back in 2008. While Jim is no longer running for office, Tom White is picking up where he left off in an attempt to unseat Lee Terry .

This article from CNN prompted me to write this post. I think people do not realize how important their votes are. Not only that, they don't understand how important an EDUCATED vote is. I would never never EVER recommend voting party line, this is how people like Lee end up and stay in office. I would also never recommend voting for someone you don't know anything about. You CAN leave spaces blank on a ballot. People do not care enough about voting, yet feel it is ok to complain when their government does not work the way they want it to. I do not get this attitude. Having worked in politics, believe me, I have heard your excuses and I have a counter response for each of them. :)

WE NEED TO CARE ABOUT WHO REPRESENTS US. And this is the trick, we do not need to care about:

• How many kids they have
• Marital status
• Color of skin
  
• Their stance on abortion (because unless they are a Supreme Court Judge they can't do anything about it... so it's a moot point...)
  
• What they do in their private lives, because let's face it- no one is perfect. (We all make mistakes; just be sure to practice what you preach... AHEM!)
  

What we should care about is:

• Their stance on issues that their political position can actually effect: http://www.whitehouse.gov/our-government
  
• Their ability to work with others and ADMIT when they need to work with others. (We are not electing gods and goddesses people, you will not find the perfect candidate, but you can find someone who can actually leave his or her ego at the door occasionally).
  
• Who contributes to their campaigns (the richer the hand in that pocket; the more forceful that hand's directional shove will be) : http://fec.gov/
  
• If they make sense when they speak (please refer to all things Sarah Palin).
• Are they passionate about the office they seek?
• If they are running for re-election, what did they do with their time in office?

I love living in America. I love being from Nebraska and I am really excited for Nebraskans- especially now. I think there is an opportunity to see some real improvements happen!

I have to say, I was very sad to see Senator Hagel go from the political scene. He was a man with a backbone. He did not do what his party always said, and I think that is VERY important in a politician. I am sure many people re-elected him because he had the red R attached to his name. but he actually made me hopeful. He was a what you see is what you get type of guy, and those are few and far between in politics, which is probably why so many people are disenchanted with politics. I live in Chicago now, so yeah, I see my fair share of all things unethical. Oh Blago...

But you know, if we all could get a little more educated about who is in office, who we vote for and why voting is important, I think we would all realize the potential our voices have!

We are in a pretty bleak spot in history. So really the only place to go is up. Will a person sporting a D or an R make difference? Not unless that person is willing to work with someone from the opposing letter!

It's all about kindergarten. We need to work together, we need to share. If you support something, be willing to talk about it, be willing to debate, be willing to take a stand, EDUCATE US! This is a two way street. I challenge people to figure out what is important to them and fight for it. I also challenge you to vote in a logical way. Did you know you can order your ballot to be delivered to your house? That way, you look people up as you vote and make sure you are in fact voting for the right person. You can have your ballot (depending upon the state you live in) for around 30 days before election day and vote at your leisure. I know it's a bit early for all this, but I am guessing we all have some homework to do. I Know I do!

McTrophy

Around my place of bid-nass, there are not that many great food options. Or maybe I have been around here so long they are just boring to me. Either way, today I found myself at McDonald's.

Normally I would say that with shame, but I actually went in and got a salad (feel free to applaud).

Now, I would have been proud of myself for not having a shake that surely would have made me fart all afternoon, and a serving of those delicious salty fries.... siiigh....
......
......
......
......

Whoa... ok I am done day dreaming now.... ANYWAY, I guess I don't go there enough, because it just occurred to me that McDonald's also rewards you for choosing the healthy option:
It's like they know you feel ashamed when you walk out of there, (damn that "Supersize Me" movie) and they understand that if you had to carry a normal McDonalds bag large enough for the salad container, you want to stop everyone on the street and say:

"It's not what you think! It's not a shake, fries and a 10 piece chicken mcnugget meal! I got a salad! A SALAD! YOU HEAR ME?? I WENT INTO MCDONALDS AND DID NOT BUY MYSELF A LARGER ASS!"

I just think it's nice they give you a trophy bag when you exit.

I am also going to save this bag to put my Big Mac in next time I go there.

Strangers...

I am a magnet for odd situations. People just say/ do the weirdest things out of nowhere to me! Today I got a phone call that made no sense, and this got me thinking about how this stuff happens to me all the time in Chicago- especially with people on the street.

Then I thought, I should write these down, so why not on my blog?!

1. About a year ago I was apartment hunting in Lakeview. My boyfriend Paul was kind enough to come with to take a look at a place on the corner of Clark and Belmont. The building manager was late so we were standing on the street corner when this old man approached us...
Old Man (to Paul): That your woman?
(I start to laugh)
Paul: Ha, um, yes... yes she is.
Old Man: What's she doing out of the house? You should have her home makin babies! That's what I would do!
Holly: What?! hahahahahaha
Paul: HA. Ooookaaayyy... (turns to me, grabs my hand) Come on baby maker, let's go.
__________

2. In college, my friends ET and Lauren lived in UpTown. The two of them were always trying to say it was "up and coming", but it was not and still is not (unless you live in the "Buena Park" part).

At about 5:30pm on a Spring day I was walking to their house. I was on the phone with my cousin, talking about her wedding, not paying attention to what was going on around me, when all of a sudden this man walks up to me and punches me square in the boob!

My response:
Holly: OW!! What the...?!
(I threw my arm defensively over my chest, hunched over and turned to yell at my offender)
SIR! SIR! You do NOT HIT WOMEN. WHY DID YOU DO... oh, wait...

It was at this point that I actually got a good look at the punching bum. He was foaming at the mouth and looked like he would eat me if I called more attention to myself. So I simply said:

"... Ok! I can see why!"
Then, I turned and speed walked away; all the while trying not to hold my boob in public.

My poor confused cousin actually stayed on the phone the whole time!
Cousin: Holy crap Holls, what just happened? Do you need to call the cops or something? Are you ok?
Holly: Nah, I just got punched in the boob by a crazy old man, it will be fine.
Cousin: Why the hell did you say that like it's normal?
________

3. I was a Theatre major in college. Rehearsals often ran late and so I would always have a guy friend walk me home at night.

Now like I said, we were coming home from rehearsal, so I was being lazy and did not take off my make-up, and I believe I had my hair in some sort of messy bun thing. My friend, it should be pointed out, has a disproportionate head to body ratio, and he knows it.

We were walking down Sheridan Road talking about our scene when a man said the usual, "Got any change?"

We responded, "No, sorry man." (and at that point it was probably true) and just kept walking and talking.

We had totally walked passed this man. His time to "comment" had passed as well, but he yells:
"YEAH? Well she's probably a slut and you got a big head anyway!"

We turn around and my friend looks pissed; I however, being the good friend that I am, about die laughing. My friend looks at the guy and says, "Really? That is what you have to say? You think pointing out the obvious will get you money? HELL NO!"

He then turns and starts power walking away before I could even recover. I think I yelled thank you at the man before running to catch up with my friend.

My Hopes are set high, but my Dreams are Weird

I had the most bizarre dream last night.

I dreamed I went to get a tattoo of a cartoon pickle in a cape, with a wink and a thumbs up, put on my shoulder... by a bartender... my friend used to date... For some reason when I went in to get the tatt, I was wearing a t-shirt with a picture of myself sitting in a chair on it... and I fell asleep as the bartender was jabbing me with a needle. (In my dreams I am a masochist? Impervious to pain?)

So, I get the pickle tatt, but I forget to take care of it, because I forget I even got it.

Two days later I am confused and can't believe I haven't even changed my shirt in 2 days! I start to worry that I ruined my tattoo; so I go to take my shirt off and realize, that the pickle is not the only tattoo I got!

The bartender tattooed through my shirt, on the front left side of me, the picture of myself I had on my t-shirt! It is huge! AND IT IS OF ME!

So I go to the bar he works at and I yell his name. He turns around and laughs and was like, isn't that hilarious?? You always joke about getting a stranger's face tattooed on you to freak people out, so I thought I would tattoo YOU on YOU and then you would look totally vain! HAHAHAHA (in my waking life I do joke about how funny it would be to get a random person's face tattooed on you).

I was so confused as to why that was funny, and started to calculate how much tattoo removal would be. THEN I realized my mom would see it since I am going home for a wedding, and I was like, oh CRAP! Explaining the Super Hero Pickle on my shoulder would be hard enough!

Then I woke up.

I dream the weirdest shit.

Dirty Old Man

Hello friends,

I must update you all on Hannibal (see previous post).

Hannibal the Cannibal fish, is dead.
It seems the Keith and Nicole did not take kindly to him trying to eat them, so they "took care of him" and dear god, it was a crazy sight to behold. Red water, nasty stink...the lesson here is clear:
Don't mess with the gingers (fish or otherwise).

Now that you are up to date on that front I would like to talk to you about my Spam mail.
If I had to create the type of person I would be if I actually wanted to get the spam in my inbox I would be:

• Male
• Late 50's
• Handlebar mustache
• Comb over
• Gold Chain
• Button down shirt with button1, 2, 3 and 4 unbuttoned
• Wicked tan
  
• Divorced (no kids)
• Earring... a silver hoop (sick.)
  
• Probably having some problems with my ding dong (hence no kids)
• Looking to pick up some sweet young thangs with my copious amounts of drugs and ridiculously convenient hookup via e-mail.
• Possibly looking for a Russian bride.

Why do I believe this is who I would be? Here is what I have received in the past 2 days as subject lines:

• Make your boner so iron it could pierce a hole in ceiling
• I am coming to you from Russia. You want this?
• PILL PILL BLUE PILL HAPPY!!!
• Cheapest Pills!!!!!!!!!!!
  
• 89% off! Pfizer products! Viagra! Aderol!
• Make her yours with a strong bone
• Drive your girl crazy... crazy good

If I had to say what I look like in this world I would be a cross between Tom Selleck and Steve Buschemi:



only greasier.

Anyway, clearly this was so important I had to blog about it.

Til next time!!

Tetra- physical Murder

So... I blame grad school for not writing in months.

And I blame my not writing while I had a 5 week break from classes on the department fish HANNIBAL! He caused much distress over the break.

You all may remember Hannibal from Swimmin' with Da Fishes back in March. Well, we kept Hannibal, and he lived peacefully with 2 other fish for quite some time. Honestly, we did not have any trouble with him until the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. What a little sacrilegious shit! You can't kill on Christmas, it's a rule I am pretty sure!

Anyway, I think he knows when Davonna is leaving and finds it fun to mess with me; what he doesn't know is that unlike Davonna, I think a little time in solitary bowl confinement and a few empty threats of flushing are in order, and I will let this wo/man do it:
I should take some of the blame for his behaviors. I do frequently call him names and chastise him for being a killer. I also suppose watching Dexter with Hannibal has probably not been helpful...

I think watching the show has even improved his tactics. I did not notice the first fish was missing until my second day back, when BOTH fish were gone. Then I searched the tank and could not find traces of EITHER fish. I mean that's some serious skills, our tank is not that big.

Anyway, after much debate, and food deprivation- yes PETA we did not feed the little bastard, because the fat ass had just eaten TWO other fish- Davonna did not have the heart to flush or put him in solitary, so she went out and got 2 "aggressive" fish to put in the bowl with him. They are red in color, so naturally we tried to name them after a ginger duo- we chose Fred and George from Harry potter... but then we saw Fred and George doing some things brothers should not do; so they were renamed, Toby Keith and Nicole Kidman. Toby and Nicole are holdin' it down. Hannibal has tried to aggravate them, but no luck, they seem to be ruling the tank... just like they rule Australia.