I am a magnet for odd situations. People just say/ do the weirdest things out of nowhere to me! Today I got a phone call that made no sense, and this got me thinking about how this stuff happens to me all the time in Chicago- especially with people on the street.
Then I thought, I should write these down, so why not on my blog?!
1. About a year ago I was apartment hunting in Lakeview. My boyfriend Paul was kind enough to come with to take a look at a place on the corner of Clark and Belmont. The building manager was late so we were standing on the street corner when this old man approached us...
Old Man (to Paul): That your woman?
(I start to laugh)
Paul: Ha, um, yes... yes she is.
Old Man: What's she doing out of the house? You should have her home makin babies! That's what I would do!
Holly: What?! hahahahahaha
Paul: HA. Ooookaaayyy... (turns to me, grabs my hand) Come on baby maker, let's go.
__________
2. In college, my friends ET and Lauren lived in UpTown. The two of them were always trying to say it was "up and coming", but it was not and still is not (unless you live in the "Buena Park" part).
At about 5:30pm on a Spring day I was walking to their house. I was on the phone with my cousin, talking about her wedding, not paying attention to what was going on around me, when all of a sudden this man walks up to me and punches me square in the boob!
My response:
Holly: OW!! What the...?!
(I threw my arm defensively over my chest, hunched over and turned to yell at my offender)
SIR! SIR! You do NOT HIT WOMEN. WHY DID YOU DO... oh, wait...
It was at this point that I actually got a good look at the punching bum. He was foaming at the mouth and looked like he would eat me if I called more attention to myself. So I simply said:
"... Ok! I can see why!"
Then, I turned and speed walked away; all the while trying not to hold my boob in public.
My poor confused cousin actually stayed on the phone the whole time!
Cousin: Holy crap Holls, what just happened? Do you need to call the cops or something? Are you ok?
Holly: Nah, I just got punched in the boob by a crazy old man, it will be fine.
Cousin: Why the hell did you say that like it's normal?
________
3. I was a Theatre major in college. Rehearsals often ran late and so I would always have a guy friend walk me home at night.
Now like I said, we were coming home from rehearsal, so I was being lazy and did not take off my make-up, and I believe I had my hair in some sort of messy bun thing. My friend, it should be pointed out, has a disproportionate head to body ratio, and he knows it.
We were walking down Sheridan Road talking about our scene when a man said the usual, "Got any change?"
We responded, "No, sorry man." (and at that point it was probably true) and just kept walking and talking.
We had totally walked passed this man. His time to "comment" had passed as well, but he yells:
"YEAH? Well she's probably a slut and you got a big head anyway!"
We turn around and my friend looks pissed; I however, being the good friend that I am, about die laughing. My friend looks at the guy and says, "Really? That is what you have to say? You think pointing out the obvious will get you money? HELL NO!"
He then turns and starts power walking away before I could even recover. I think I yelled thank you at the man before running to catch up with my friend.
