I have weird conversations...

This is what I talk about with people... I am ok with it. Thought you should know who you are dealing with I guess!

Number 1:This has been an on-going idea for about 2 years now ( his name has been changed to be able to actually enact this plan)

Friend: so we really have to follow through with this fake marriage i need a mini-fridge in my new apartment

so i never have to leave my new cave

me: hahaha

i have so much stuff i would love to get

Friend: cuz i would love a blender

and minifridge

dude and!

a kegorator

ooo and some martini glasses

me: oooh I want a flat screen... and a Wii... do you think its ok to register for a Wii?

Friend:of course
and some nice plates

oh and i totally want a nice set of pots and pans

me: I have martini glasses, I enjoy them, they are green

Friend: how am i the woman in this conversation?

me: I dont know

Friend: you want toys and i want glassware and cooking things?

me: AND A BAGS SET

hahaha

Friend: dude we'd have to get a bags set that's the only way our fake marriage could ever last

me: ok, some sweet ass sheets

Friend: yeah

me: there i was the girl for a minute

Friend: dude and a surround sound

there we go, required some testosterone

me: ooh man and some great soft bath towels!

Friend: dude that's a solid idea

me: and a good grill

Friend: i have one of those

but i guess you might need one

me: thats what the siblings got my brother, i was like, yes, let's continue this tradition

Friend: hahahhaa

oh dude and a nice set of Steak Knives

me: Oh yes!

Friend: let's get married in august so i can have my new stuff soon

Friend: it'll be a brief and remarkably unsexual courtship

me: HAHAHAHA

Friend: also I want a buddy holly impersonator to perform the ceremony

actually fuck buddy holly

i want jerry lee lewis

oh and i want a scotch cabinet

me: ooooh

this is going to go very well!

Friend: this is flawless

there is no way this can backfire

unless someone points out that you're seeing other people and i'm a manwhore

me: surely not

Friend: then we're screwed

fortunately no one knows either of those facts......

see that was funnier if you saw my face

me: lol I like our plans, so far today i am fake marrying you and breaking into your apartment to steal your hard drive... anything else slightly illegal I can do for you?
Friend: How do you feel about auto Theft? Also, how do you tell if a female is interested? explain how i can be sure she's interested before i make a total ass of myself.

Number 2- sent mid-day:T: I was reading a menu to some woman over the phone

and after everything i said

she made moaning noises

and i nearly lost it laughing on the phone

and not like "mmm" noises

but like "ohhhhhhhhhh"

"woooow"

it was the dirtiest effing phone call i've ever had

personal or business

granted, i wasn't getting turned on

but it sounded really dirty

like, someone could take that excerpt from the phone call

and it would sound like someone was giving her the business

Number 3:

a: i don't believe this "email" you sent me has an email address for the good padre

b: what?

bawls

a: yeah, i mean

dubs tee eff?

4:24 PM b:*@jesuit.ie

a: the jesuits have an email server?

awesome

b: the irish ones do i guess

.ie means ireland web addresses

i like how the US got .com

4:25 PM and everyone else is like .co.uk

a: well, we're awesome

b: or .ie

troof

4:26 PM a: i just straight emailed that fool, yo

b: WHAT SON?

a: awwwwwwww shee-it!

4:27 PM honky betta rekognize!

4:28 PM b: shoot

a: i'm not sure WHO the honky is in that sentence

4:29 PM but s/he sure betta look out, for realsies

b: me either but whatevs

I assumed the priest

a: sure, why not?

we're also unsure what he has to rekognize

the trinity?

holy days?

4:30 PM b: hellz Yeeaaah!

4:31 PM a: double troof

Number 4:
me: I may have just morphed my face with RPatz to see what our baby would look like....

http://www.morphthing.com/showimage/5/21d8d81accd3e4bf193c349f711c7761/0/185462/Baby-of-Robert-Pattinson-and-P1010138-JPG.jpeg

C: omfg i love you

9:55 AM me: lol

that baby probs needs to happen

9:57 AM Ch: hahahaha

i agree, he/she? is a cutie

9:58 AM me: lol

9:59 AM C: either way - good looking kid

it looks more like a female

me: this is like a new way to decide if you should continue dating someone

me: morph your baby

C: hahaha- weird.
i will have to keep the site

play around a bit

10:01 AM me: omg its too fun

and i am being CREEPY

I am going to send Ry a picture of what our baby will look like, hahaha

10:02 AM C: Ry D?

me: yes

ya know when we are 40... and we are not married, our love child that never could be, because he is gay.

10:03 AM p.s. why are my babies blondes?

10:04 AM C: haha

not sure

were you blond as a baby?

10:05 AM Ry was light haired

10:08 AM me: no

dark haired all my life

omg I just made a baby with my friend. haaaa. Ry will be thrilled. Except our baby looks crazy.
C: you will have wonderful babies if need be

well ry has the crazy eyes, so...

aaaaaaand secene.

Cherry Pez Coke Crush Rock Studded Boogie

Life is picking up again! Of course I can NEVER have too much going on at once... right?

I went home this weekend for Bill and LeeAnn's wedding. It was gorgeous! This is the photo of all the siblings now!

I think it is safe to say we danced our azzes off and had a pretty outstanding time. Scooter gave a great best man's toast, everyone looked quite dapper, and the band is basically best friends with us now! Party! (We were, however, all saying that it's just such a shame Bill and LeeAnn aren't attractive... sigh.)

So, I flew back to the Chi on Monday morning... by morning I mean the 6:20am flight to Chicago... which means getting up at 4:15am... if any of you have dealt with me early in the morning, you know that "Hap(p)y Holly (4)" does not exist, "Bitchy Silent Holly", however, does. Originally, I was going to fly back Sunday night, but my most excellent date, John, had to fly to the east coast for work Monday morning and he did not know the rents and thought it would be weird if he stayed there without me. Little did he know that once you stay at our house my parents pretty much take you in as one of their own, because after 6 kids, what's one more?... John is really chipper in the morning btw. He says things like, " I am going to go consult the shit out of today!" (with fist pumps and a hug just to patronize me... I threatened physical violence). NOT 'TIL I HAVE CAFFEINE!!

I am not complaining anymore though because in all fairness it ended up working out in my favor. I got bumped from my flight and got TRAVEL VOUCHERS. Woo hoo!!! On the flight back (the 9am one) I was so out of it I fell asleep. I was that person that fell asleep on the guy next to me, but only briefly, once my head hit his shoulder I woke up, apologized, and checked to make sure I did not drool, bc that would be gross. ( I did not, just to be clear).

I got to work and basically had the jitters from caffeine. I was useless.

Speaking of work, this is the e-mail I received this morning:

Subject: CRAZY SQUIRREL ALERT
I need to alert all of you to be on the look out for a crazy squirrel. One of our faculty members reported that upon returning to the office, the scholar discovered a squirrel attempting to access email. The critter had chewed through the screen of the office window. Facilities and IT were called upon.

This is what I imagine the squirrel looked like... I did not see him.

YES. You noticed it. This squirrel is a ginger kid. Only a ginger squirrel would do this.

I am not kidding you. This happened. Evidently the professor did not even notice the squirrel just chillin at his computer for awhile either. HA! Loyola Squirrels are crazy though. They have no fear and live off of McDonald's and cigarettes.

I am also super sore today, but in that amazing, 'I-just-worked-muscles-I- did-not-know-I- had' kind of way. CJ and I started pilates last night. I am in love. I have never done pilates. I tried yoga, but I am not a big fan of sitting still in awkward positions, so this seems to be a great choice for me. Normally I am a runner, and recently, due to some amazing orthodics, I can run again! Hooray!! I have missed it so much! I am up to 6 miles again... I am probably going to over do it and then be in real trouble with my podiatrist, but meh, these dogs aren't barkin yet!

Can we get a hooray for 3 day weekends?? HOORAY! This weekend will be a blast! Mostly due to the fact that the GAA concert is this weekend- Don't make me use the built in Catholic guilting gene I got from my mother... show up, or make a donation :) It's what your mother would want YOU to do.

Pools around the city are opening, cook-outs and beach going will be the theme of the weekend. There is nothing better people. Nothing better. I love food. Actually, I am pretty sure that many of my friends are convinced that if they ever decided to stop cooking for me, I would leave them. I threaten this, but truth be told, I would never ditch you if you became as lazy as I am in the kitchen. I would just not hang around you as much. Or bake you things. ( I bake, I do not cook, I CAN cook, I just don't).

I feel like I could write for days on things that are coming up and currently happening, but this just might be long enough already... and it's summer... so I am sure that I will eventually get sick of battling the university website as I try to update it (which is a pain in the ass) and need to blog. So I will catch you all later. (Yep, all 2 of you.)