Number 1:This has been an on-going idea for about 2 years now ( his name has been changed to be able to actually enact this plan)
Friend: so we really have to follow through with this fake marriage i need a mini-fridge in my new apartment
so i never have to leave my new cave
me: hahaha
i have so much stuff i would love to get
Friend: cuz i would love a blender
and minifridge
dude and!
a kegorator
ooo and some martini glasses
me: oooh I want a flat screen... and a Wii... do you think its ok to register for a Wii?
Friend:of course
and some nice plates
and some nice plates
oh and i totally want a nice set of pots and pans
me: I have martini glasses, I enjoy them, they are green
Friend: how am i the woman in this conversation?
me: I dont know
Friend: you want toys and i want glassware and cooking things?
me: AND A BAGS SET
hahaha
Friend: dude we'd have to get a bags set that's the only way our fake marriage could ever last
me: ok, some sweet ass sheets
Friend: yeah
me: there i was the girl for a minute
Friend: dude and a surround sound
there we go, required some testosterone
me: ooh man and some great soft bath towels!
Friend: dude that's a solid idea
me: and a good grill
Friend: i have one of those
but i guess you might need one
me: thats what the siblings got my brother, i was like, yes, let's continue this tradition
Friend: hahahhaa
oh dude and a nice set of Steak Knives
me: Oh yes!
Friend: let's get married in august so i can have my new stuff soon
Friend: it'll be a brief and remarkably unsexual courtship
me: HAHAHAHA
Friend: also I want a buddy holly impersonator to perform the ceremony
actually fuck buddy holly
i want jerry lee lewis
oh and i want a scotch cabinet
me: ooooh
this is going to go very well!
Friend: this is flawless
there is no way this can backfire
unless someone points out that you're seeing other people and i'm a manwhore
me: surely not
Friend: then we're screwed
fortunately no one knows either of those facts......
see that was funnier if you saw my face
me: lol I like our plans, so far today i am fake marrying you and breaking into your apartment to steal your hard drive... anything else slightly illegal I can do for you?
Friend: How do you feel about auto Theft? Also, how do you tell if a female is interested? explain how i can be sure she's interested before i make a total ass of myself.
Number 3:
Number 4:
me: I may have just morphed my face with RPatz to see what our baby would look like....
Friend: How do you feel about auto Theft? Also, how do you tell if a female is interested? explain how i can be sure she's interested before i make a total ass of myself.
Number 2- sent mid-day:T: I was reading a menu to some woman over the phone
and after everything i said
she made moaning noises
and i nearly lost it laughing on the phone
and not like "mmm" noises
but like "ohhhhhhhhhh"
"woooow"
it was the dirtiest effing phone call i've ever had
personal or business
granted, i wasn't getting turned on
but it sounded really dirty
like, someone could take that excerpt from the phone call
and it would sound like someone was giving her the business
Number 3:
a: i don't believe this "email" you sent me has an email address for the good padre
b: what?
bawls
a: yeah, i mean
dubs tee eff?
4:24 PM b:*@jesuit.ie
a: the jesuits have an email server?
awesome
b: the irish ones do i guess
.ie means ireland web addresses
i like how the US got .com
4:25 PM and everyone else is like .co.uk
a: well, we're awesome
b: or .ie
troof
4:26 PM a: i just straight emailed that fool, yo
b: WHAT SON?
a: awwwwwwww shee-it!
4:27 PM honky betta rekognize!
4:28 PM b: shoot
a: i'm not sure WHO the honky is in that sentence
4:29 PM but s/he sure betta look out, for realsies
b: me either but whatevs
I assumed the priest
a: sure, why not?
we're also unsure what he has to rekognize
the trinity?
holy days?
4:30 PM b: hellz Yeeaaah!
4:31 PM a: double troof
Number 4:
me: I may have just morphed my face with RPatz to see what our baby would look like....
C: omfg i love you
9:55 AM me: lol
that baby probs needs to happen
9:57 AM Ch: hahahaha
i agree, he/she? is a cutie
9:58 AM me: lol
9:59 AM C: either way - good looking kid
it looks more like a female
me: this is like a new way to decide if you should continue dating someone
me: morph your baby
C: hahaha- weird.
i will have to keep the site
i will have to keep the site
play around a bit
10:01 AM me: omg its too fun
and i am being CREEPY
I am going to send Ry a picture of what our baby will look like, hahaha
10:02 AM C: Ry D?
me: yes
ya know when we are 40... and we are not married, our love child that never could be, because he is gay.
10:03 AM p.s. why are my babies blondes?
10:04 AM C: haha
not sure
were you blond as a baby?
10:05 AM Ry was light haired
10:08 AM me: no
dark haired all my life
omg I just made a baby with my friend. haaaa. Ry will be thrilled. Except our baby looks crazy.
C: you will have wonderful babies if need be
aaaaaaand secene.
C: you will have wonderful babies if need be
well ry has the crazy eyes, so...
aaaaaaand secene.
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